WELCOME to my place!
My name is Alison and I am the principal of
The Real Affect, an emotion coaching business founded on the belief that real relating begins with yourself. I know all too well that getting real with yourself and others can be terrifying if you don't feel safe inside.
"The ache for home lives in all of us;
the safe place where we can go as we are
and not be questioned.”
Being able to identify, understand and manage our emotions is the foundation work of emotion coaching. It is also the path to self-regulation which means being able to get in control of ourselves in any situation, enabling us to experience a greater sense of wellbeing in life.
Life really is an inside job.
Learning how to experience negative emotions such as frustration, anger, disappointment, guilt, humiliation, loneliness, sadness and jealousy in healthier ways is vital to succeeding in relationships. At the core of these unpleasant emotions are vital clues to those areas in our life where we have gotten 'stuck' in the problematic stories we tell ourselves or 'blocked' by denying ourselves the full expression of our true feelings.
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Grief only resolves itself once we decide to risk getting out of the comfort of our thinking minds in favour of reconnecting with the treasure trove within - our richest source of knowing which comes from just 'being'.
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Emotional intelligence, which is the goal of emotion coaching, is something we learn from our first teacher - our parents - which helps us read our own emotions and the emotions of others. It is the basis for empathy, the ability to understand and share another person's feelings, which is key to developing trusting, deeply connected, long-lasting romantic partnerships and cultivating more genuine, successful professional relationships.
By empathically listening we become a mirror to the other person's experience, facilitating shared understanding and deeper connection, which expands our capacity to make healthier, more informed life choices.
We heal best within positive relationships that can offer us trust, honesty and compassionate support - the permission to just 'be' - and as a result it is incredible to witness a person's restored capacity as agent of their own life just by choosing to be present.
Is this kind of coaching for me?
We can all benefit from learning to handle our emotions in healthier ways. THE REAL AFFECT is for anyone who finds it hard to get their emotional needs met and is unsure who to turn to for support in difficult times.
Maybe you're a parent struggling with a tween or teen, a partner who feels unheard in your relationship or an adult in constant conflict with your own parents or you've recently finished therapy and wondered what else existed for you to continue your personal growth and development.
If you are battling painful emotions, challenging relationships, or you desire further support in life then THE REAL AFFECT might be just what you need. Get the emotional support you crave and the skills you need to cultivate healthy relationships for life!
I am an adoring mother of two spirited children and a devoted partner who values authenticity, emotional intelligence and growth work as key to greater life fulfillment.
I have craved real relating all my life. Heartfelt connections. Those intimate moments that make you feel good about yourself. My early years were spectacularly devoid of any healthy relating so as an adult I have really struggled in relationship. Maybe you can relate.
Developing emotional intimacy in relationships is possible when we are willing to get real with ourselves and each other but only when mutual trust and empathy exist. I am passionate about helping people learn to self-regulate so they can enhance their personal wellbeing and increase their satisfaction in relationships.
Let me help you move on in life with a renewed sense of confidence that comes from being able to handle yourself.
Previously I practised as a lawyer, English language teacher and primary/secondary school tutor. After completing my counselling studies I worked with a local community counselling organisation for several years supporting parents and carers. I relished my role supporting families, in particular teaching adults the skills of Dr Thomas Gordon's proven program - "Parent Effectiveness Training" (P.E.T).
Qualifications & Training
My humanistic, client-centred approach to coaching is informed by the work of renowned psychologist Dr Carl Rogers, meaning I believe that people have untapped capacities to solve their own problems, given a relationship with a warm, empathic, accepting and understanding listener.
In working with many individuals and couples, I realised there was a genuine need to equip people with the language of emotion so they could learn to separate thoughts from feelings and therefore begin to challenge their automatic thoughts and conditioned beliefs that were unknowingly hijacking their lives, causing endless suffering.
I also recognised the need for a practical, affordable and accessible service that could provide emotional support, insights and skills training to help people better manage life challenges whenever they occur.
This has been my motivation for becoming an emotion coach.